First, the update on the yoga. 13 days in and I know that at this point in my life I am nowhere near ready to be doing this everyday… So, it is now being scaled down to 3 times a week… lets see if I can do that on a consistent basis.

But what I am occupied with lately is weddings – more specifically, my weddings. Yes, in the plural. Don’t worry, it’s to the same man. We’re having one wedding in January and another in June. Why? Oh, I don’t know, because I decided that my descent into dementia wasn’t occurring fast enough and I needed to speed it along? We are having one wedding in India because that is where my family is and one wedding here in Coldville, U.S.A. (yes, that’s a lame attempt at a pseudonym, still haven’t figured out how anonymous I want to be here on the interwebs) since that is where the Mr. CourseCorrection-to-be’s (no clever name for him yet, either. I’m working on it.) family is. The ceremony in India will be a Hindu ceremony, while the ceremony here will be a more American, for lack of a better term, one. It’s not religious so I can’t call it Christian, but it will have the traditional elements of a wedding held here.

While both sets of immediate family would have made it no matter where we held the wedding, the extended family would not have. And both Mr. CC and I agree that a wedding is about bringing family and friends together and into your life. I knew that I wanted a traditional ceremony in India, with all my friends and family present. Having decided on that, we realized that most of Mr. CC’s family wouldn’t make it to India and it felt unfair to deprive him of the opportunity to celebrate with his family and friends in a way that is familiar to them. My family and I wouldn’t have felt like a wedding has occurred without all the craziness that is a traditional Indian wedding, and so it’s only fair to plan a celebration that he and his family can be a part of.

That said, I never thought I would be in this position. Prior to getting engaged I had not spent one second thinking about my wedding – except for a tantrum during my brother’s wedding when I hissed at my mother ‘I will only have 10 people at my wedding – counting my groom and myself’. She wasn’t impressed. “So, between you and your groom and your immediate family it’s already 7 people. What if he has siblings, will they not be allowed?” And just like that, my grand pronouncement was entirely overpowered by her focus on the details. Does your mother do that too? Go off on a tangent that seems connected, but is so far from the content of what you are saying that within seconds you are mired in some alternate universe and you forgot your original (but damn it had some flair!) point… I hope it’s something that is lying dormant in me – a very useful skill that.

But the point being, I didn’t think about weddings, thought I would eventually find someone and get married, the wedding would consist of a pretty standard Hindu ceremony, some Rajasthani customs and that would be that. Now I’m planning two. While the wedding in India doesn’t really require much from me – the parental unit has taken over, and you have no idea how grateful I am that I don’t have to do much other than show up. But the wedding here is another story. This is my show and I feel completely unequipped to handle it. I wander around and when it comes time to make decisions, I’m stumped. I have no idea what I like. Wedding colors? Do I really need colours? Bridal parties? Dresses? The only thing I have an opinion on is cake! I’m not sure how I’m going to figure all this out… And to be honest I feel like I’m faking it, like I’m play acting and that’s not a good feeling at all.

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