I’m wondering if I’m resistance to planning the American wedding is rooted in something other than ignorance and my belief that ‘I’m not-the-type-to-obsess-over-wedding-details’.  After all, I’m managing to do the needful for the Indian wedding – even though there are times when I really don’t want to deal.   

Part of the problem (and this is what I’ve been pegging it on) is that I don’t really have any family or friends to help me plan it. My family is in India and I don’t really have any close friends here – atleast not the type I can drag dress shopping for the millionth time. Mr. CC is willing to help, but is rather clueless about the process himself. And dress shopping just isn’t fun without girlfriends. MIL-to be lives in the area, but I’m wary of getting her involved because we have very different tastes and it seems like a sure fire way to mess up a relationship – and from what I’ve seen the MIL-DIL relationship seems particularly easy to mess up. 

But now I’m beginning to wonder if there is something more going on in this crazy head of mine.  This is my first experience of stepping into Mr.CC’s territory.  I have to familiarize myself with another culture, learn the customs, evaluate what I do and don’t like about it and then decide what I will adopt.  All things I expect him to do, and expectations that are not unreasonable in an inter-racial, multi-cultural relationship.  I knew what I signed up for when I got engaged.  But for some reason I’m extremely uncomfortable doing it in this situation.  I feel foolish, like I’m playacting – and worse, like I’m selling out in some way.  I’m not sure I could even explain what I mean by that.