So, as if my body acceptance / weight loss journey wasn’t complicated enough for my small brain, there is one more factor to throw in. I am 5 weeks pregnant. I’m ecstatic…  A little surprised. Not a complete surprise – we were trying (sorta) and I was anticipating that this might happen in the next few months. But I thought I had a little more time to get…I don’t know what? Organized, more grown up, more put together? And yes, I did want to say ‘get in better shape’.

This is going to be an interesting journey. The ‘obesity is a public health crisis’ cry becomes even sharper around pregnancy, because after all now we’re hurting the baby. And it becomes harder to resist personally because what if they’re right? What if my size is going to harm the baby? Plus, not only am I considered obese, I am over that magic line of 35.

Part of my struggles around intuitive eating/HAES have been rooted in the fact that my notions about eating health and exercise have always revolved around weight loss.  I’m either actively eating/exercising to lose weight, or in a ‘not-thinking-about-it-quick-eat-everything-you-want-to-before-the-next-diet’ phase… and often what I think of as intuitive eating is coming from the latter space.  This is going to be different because  I’m really going to have to separate my attempt to be healthy from weight loss.

They say your kids teach you the things you need to learn – maybe this is our first lesson together?  Welcome, little poppy seed (apparently thats how big you are right now).