My whattoexpect.com emails just alerted me to the fact I start week 12 tomorrow. I guess I missed the updates for week 9 and 10. Where did those weeks go? Remember how I was complaining about time going too slow? Yeah. Well, now I’m freaking out because it seems like it’s moving really fast. Anyway, nothing new to report. The nausea has pretty much gone, but the exhaustion remains.

I was away at a conference last week and it sucked. Well, the conference was fine, but being away from home sucked. Plus, I was 6300 feet above sea level and I didn’t get acclimatized to it the entire time I was there. I’d climb up one flight of stairs and get completely winded – I’m not working out, but I know I’m not that out of shape. I also notice that I get really panicky when I don’t have control over my environment. Mostly it’s because I feel like I don’t have much control over my body right now. When I need to pee, I need to pee. When I need food, I need food – airline rules and timetables be damned. On the way back I needed to pee after the flight took off, I waited and waited for the seat belt sign to go off – no go. They started serving beverages and I knew that if I got stuck behind the cart it would be forever, so I decided to get up and go. Of course, the stewardess yelled at me to sit down. I had to explain to her (nicely, of course, have you ever known me to be anything but nice?) that it was either this or peeing in the SEAT (Ok, maybe I got a little loud and shrill towards the end of the explanation). I was so happy to be home that I cried – and no, I’m not exaggerating. I actually stepped through the door, hugged my dogs and cried.

And speaking of crying, what the fuck is up with the tears? I’m not depressed or anxious – in fact, I’m more relaxed and mellow than I can remember being in a long time. But, I start crying over nothing, or more accurately everything! Anything to do with babies or childbirth? Tears. Abandoned puppies or kittens? More tears. And oh my god, lets not talk about somebody losing a spouse or a loved one because that just makes me sob. What’s even stranger is that it doesn’t feel unpleasant. It actually feels quite lovely to let the tears flow. Bizarre. This is the pregnancy, right? And not some latent craziness rearing it’s ugly head. You know like when Putin rears his head? And also too, betcha, joe six pack? Oh wait, that’s another post.

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