Mind


So, I decided that I miss my little anonymous corner of the world where I can navel gaze and talk about my boobs.  Time to get back to it. To catch you up in no particular order:
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or really more sleep… Part of being a new mom and having no sleep is that it makes you unable to problem solve and everything seems like a huge deal.  I realized yesterday that for the last two weeks I’ve been doing the entire night shift, from 10pm to about 6 am.  I’m not really sure why I started this.
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So, I have to say this somewhere – I’m in a really tough and dark place right now.  The lack of sleep is really doing a number on me, and Mr. CC and I are not in a very good spot right now.  Without going into too much detail about private matters, he’s dropped the ball on certain things and that will put us in a very tough position in the short run.  We are going to be strapped financially and may be even incurring some debt, and we are (but mostly, I am) going to have deal with bullshit from his family that is very hurtful.
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My whattoexpect.com emails just alerted me to the fact I start week 12 tomorrow. I guess I missed the updates for week 9 and 10. Where did those weeks go? Remember how I was complaining about time going too slow? Yeah. Well, now I’m freaking out because it seems like it’s moving really fast. Anyway, nothing new to report. The nausea has pretty much gone, but the exhaustion remains.
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Unsurprisingly, conventional wisdom has proved to be nothing but a big, giant idiot as far as dealing with nausea during pregnancy is concerned. This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to me- when they say every body is different they really aren’t lying. You probably should experiment with what works for you, but here’s what worked for me. Full disclosure, I’ve been really lucky with morning sickness so far. No actual vomiting yet, just nausea for a short period every day or so and it has never lasted for more than 4-5 hours. On the off chance that what I’ve been doing is helping I thought I would put it out there.
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Well, we’re done with the 8th week.  I had my first visit with one of  OB/GYN practices I’m considering.  We saw the heartbeat!  Mr.  CC was there and completely fascinated with it.  I guess for him that was the first visible sign that I really am pregnant and not just pretending so that I can sleep all the time! It’s quite sweet, he keeps looking at the photograph.   I didn’t get too excited for some reason –  to me it just looked like a grainy black and white blob.  Plus, I’m still so irritated that this takes so damn long (really, May, I have to be wait till May?!!) that I’ve just sort of lost interest.  Does that make me a bad mommy-to-be?

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In October 2006 I moved in with my boyfriend (who is now my husband). It was a stressful and complicated move for various reasons. In the space of 2 months I put on 15 lbs – yes I can do that very easily when I’m stressed. Sometime in November I had to go shopping for a suit since I had an interview coming up. I had been practically living in my comfy clogs but since I thought I might be out shopping for a long time, I decided to wear a pair of flats. It was a god awful shopping trip because I could not find anything that looked or felt right and I was out there shopping for 6 hours straight.
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