or really more sleep… Part of being a new mom and having no sleep is that it makes you unable to problem solve and everything seems like a huge deal.  I realized yesterday that for the last two weeks I’ve been doing the entire night shift, from 10pm to about 6 am.  I’m not really sure why I started this.
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So, I have to say this somewhere – I’m in a really tough and dark place right now.  The lack of sleep is really doing a number on me, and Mr. CC and I are not in a very good spot right now.  Without going into too much detail about private matters, he’s dropped the ball on certain things and that will put us in a very tough position in the short run.  We are going to be strapped financially and may be even incurring some debt, and we are (but mostly, I am) going to have deal with bullshit from his family that is very hurtful.
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…is now the holy grail in this family.  I’m beginning to get a little bit desperate.  LittleC slept from 10pm to 3pm a few (two? three? many? a life time?) nights ago and since then has not slept more than 1.5 hours at a stretch at night.  Before that he would go about 3 hours at a stretch at least.  Now he’ll sleep for a 3-4 hour stretch during the day if he’s being held by somebody, but other than that nada.  Nothing seems to work for very long.  I’m so confused about what I should be doing.
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I really suck at posting regularly, and having a newborn definitely makes it harder.  Lets see, to catch you up since we last spoke about the pregnancy (umm yeah, I just read that post again, a little whiny, wouldn’t you say?).   I had gestational diabetes – I moped, ranted and raved, and then found it surprisingly easy.  I’ve been focusing on controlling  carbs for a while and have worked my way through a variety of diets – Zone, Protein Power, Atkins – and counting carbs wasn’t tough for me at all.  Of course, I did have my moments of ‘I want cake and I want it now’, but for the most part it was OK – having the little creature in me and worrying about the impact of cake on him definitely prevented me from cheating too much.  I did have the occasional lapse, but on the whole kept the numbers pretty low.
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I turn 36 today – officially a old hag now.  It’s been a big year – getting married, changing jobs and leaving academia, and of course welcoming little c into our lives.  Yup, he’s here.  Arrived 2 weeks early on April 15th – I’ve been writing his birth story in dribs and drabs and hope to put it up here soon.  I definitely want a record of it and this is as good a place to put it as any.
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Yeah, that’s about as elegant a title you’re going to get out of me. I had my appointment with my midwife yesterday, and as the nurse is getting me prepped she says ‘So, what did you eat before your Glucose Screening Test’. Umm, nothing. I woke up, drove over to the lab and had it done. ‘Wow, your numbers are really high – normal is 140, you were 235’. WTF?!!
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Technically, it’s the end of second trimester blues.  I’m in week 27 and heading towards the end of the second trimester and am always exhausted.  I’m sleeping about 12 hours on the weekends and about 7 hours during the week, and could still sleep some more!  Honestly, this has thrown me for a bit of a loop.  I’m finding myself very whiny and upset about being so tired and unable to do the things I normally do.  It’s also scaring me.  While I know at an intellectual level this is because I’m pregnant, the energy I had during the second trimester let me forget it, and so I keep wondering if this is how I’m going to be for the rest of my life.  Which freaks me out!!
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